The longest ride


IMG_2615I was cursed. My father ruined my mother’s life and cursed me. His parting words when I was five-years-old, was that he was leaving her and one day I would grow up to do the same things he did.

So as I grew, so did the anger inside me. And at 15, the only way that I could quickly relieve myself of the insufferable pain was by taking drugs, not realising that I was inadvertently following in my father’s footsteps.

I started smoking marijuana and then moved onto cocaine. During this time, the economy in Brazil was worsening by the second and my family’s living conditions were deeply affected, so we all moved to America.

That’s when my drugs habits spiralled out of control. I discovered ecstasy, crystal meth and heroin, which were very easy to get my hands on. Drug dealing was the quickest way for me to sustain my addiction.

Nightclubs were the most popular location for me to go about my business, as there was always someone looking for a way to make their night last that little bit longer and make it that much more exciting.

In New York, I would have a bag of up to 500 pills of ecstasy in my pocket. I once dangerously took 32 pills in one night; the effect of taking two will give you a ‘buzz’ that leaves you feeling ‘alive!’ I still recall what I can only describe as, the worst day of my life. It was on a Tuesday…

I had gone out on Friday, and stayed up until Monday without sleep or food. All that my body received was drugs every day. And on Tuesday, I had an overdose. My body suddenly felt very strange and I knew then that I was going to die. I can’t even begin to explain how I felt, but it was the worst day of my life. At that moment I called out, “Jesus! Save me!” The overdose stopped immediately.

Anyone in his or her right mind would have found a way to quit after such a traumatic ordeal, but I didn’t. In fact, I overdosed four times and during each experience, I almost died.

On another occasion, I passed out and woke up to discover that I was lying in the street. My face was completely covered in blood and I couldn’t identify my surroundings. I couldn’t remember a thing about what had happened or how I had gotten there.

During the years that I was hooked on drugs, I sacrificed my health, nights of sleep and all of my money. I had become a slave to my addiction.

I didn’t have any strength to look for help, but my mother was the one who sought for help on my behalf. She started attending the UCKG HelpCentre and took part in the meetings in the hope that one day, I would join her there and beat my addiction…

I did, and I owe my life to the help I received at the HelpCentre. Within the first month of attending the sessions and putting the advice into practice, I was clean. My mother told me that if she were to die today, she would die a happy woman. Her dream to see me drug-free came true.

I haven’t taken a single drug since; I have been happily married for nine years, my wife and I have a son, and I haven’t looked back.

Phillip Viana

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