It was like reliving a movie


inNo woman enters into a marriage believing that she’d be vying for her husband’s attention. But what does one do when her opponent is pornography? Does she give in or fight until she’s won? Read on for Sandra.

I’d decided that relationships weren’t for me, not after my first one ended up being exactly like my parents—full of arguments and unhappiness. It was like reliving a movie of my mother’s life!

Left with a cold and heavy heart, that’s when I met Ricardo. Our relationship took off, but it wasn’t long until I discovered his partying and drug-using antics. His habit of lying and his addiction to pornography tore me apart and built up a wall that turned me into a woman I didn’t want to be. I became insecure and paranoid; I felt ugly and worthless. “I’m going out with my brothers,” he’d say. But how could I trust him? I was allowing myself to get hurt all over again. We lived this way— in limbo—for almost two years.

A friend knew about our problems and took us to a place that changed our lives forever. Thank God that Ricardo and I both wanted things to work out; we just didn’t know how to break down the walls that were stopping us from having a successful relationship.

in2I’d reached the end of my rope. So we went to this UCKG HelpCentre. The more we came, the more things started changing, not just in our relationship but also within me. We had tried to break the wall between us with our bare hands, but had ended up with scratches and bruises. We coupled our faith with the greatest action of trust we knew—sacrifice, going as far as we could to complete our vow!

Surely, I found myself becoming more tolerant. There were no more outbursts of anger, but self-control and patience. Being in this place was working. God was working, and I let Him. We received a lot of help. I know that the support and guidance played a huge role in our transformation, and I’ll always be grateful.

Ricardo and I changed together. We both went through periods of our lives where we were in a desert, scraping together to survive. But now we don’t need it because what we’ve received is much greater!

Ricardo doesn’t watch pornography anymore, nor do drugs and my insecurities are gone. Ricardo is not at all the man he was when I first met him. We sealed our relationship with the unbreakable bond of marriage and it’s been seven years now. We’re a partnership. I love and trust him. I never believed I could be happily married, but now I can because I live this dream every day.

Sandra Vasconcelos

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