When I watched it for the first time, I remember the feeling afterwards, it made me feel weird but good at the same time; and though I would do it in secret, I thought that pornography was normal. It became part of life; I saw it as normal, something all men go through.
As I got older, I slowly found myself becoming dependent on it, so much so that I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I turned to it. It went from every now and then to every night to any time I could. I found that I started seeing women differently. I saw them as objects of pleasure and would get sexual urges when I looked at them. I was heavily addicted.
I was attending the UCKG HelpCentre for a while and spoke to an adviser. It was getting out of control and I saw that I couldn’t stop by myself, as I’d stop for a while then go back. There was one day that happened and it sunk in that I really needed help. I realised it was deeper than just a physical matter.
I received a prayer and step-by-step advice, and made an honest decision to never go back and since then, everything has changed. I no longer needed it to comfort me or for pleasure, and saw that it’s actually not part of a real man’s life. It rather takes away from a man. Three years have passed and I stayed clean! I’ve been free from that addiction since then.
I don’t regret the decision that I made. I don’t need it to help me get to sleep or make me feel a certain way.